Behold, an amazing table!
A friend had on her blog a countdown of the most annoying Disney characters ever. I decided to go about it more social-scientifically and put numbers on things. There are far too many characters to do them all at once. So this is my ranking of Disney's best animated animal sidekicks. All the descriptions and caveats and all the rest are below the fold.
(Updated 12/7 - fixed chronology, added Max, Pip, and Kevin, rescored Little Mermaid Talking on my brother's advice.)
My Top 5 (tie for 5th)
Bottom 5 I think we could do without.
Nothing against Raja or Max, really - they got 6/10 just based on whether I like them or not. They just doesn't serve a purpose. What the table tells me is that none of these on the bottom do.
I was really surprised how high Koda came out and that Iago beat Abu. I was rooting for Abu to be in the top 5, but he's the only one I gave a 10 to that didn't make it.
I was also surprised how very few females there are on the list. Merida's mom (and you can argue she doesn't belong on the list for several reasons), and maybe Cri-Kee and Djali - I'm not sure and I'm not checking. Even the female leads don't have female sidekicks! Weirdness. [This convinced me to add Kevin from Up, even though her status as a proper sidekick may be questionable]
So there you have my take on Disney's animated animal sidekicks. Of course, now that I've given this way too much thought over the last two evenings, I'm starting to wonder what other groups of Disney characters I should rank and how. Villains? All the sidekicks I didn't include this time around? Human sidekicks? Leads? Any requests?
Again, full description and the wonkishness below the fold.
Who counts as an animal sidekick? The first rule is that you have to actually be an animal. This means
- No spirits or demons. This removes Mushu from Mulan, Pain and Panic from Hercules, and Aladdin's Genie
- No animate objects. This removes Aladdin's Magic Carpet, the supporting robots in Wall-E, and the entire supporting cast of Beauty and the Beast and Toy Story.
- and more controversially, no all-animal casts. The fact that the sidekick is an animal only matters if the lead is human (at least part of the time). This is a difficult choice because it removes a lot of great movies with great animal characters, but it would also make some of the criteria obsolete. All animals talk perfectly in an all-animal movie!
The other element is that they are real sidekicks to a human. They need to strongly identify with a main character and follow them throughout the movie. There may be more than one sidekick in a movie - witness Little Mermaid's shocking 5 sidekicks. Villains' sidekicks count. Here are four examples of animals who are not sidekicks: Bruno the dog in Cinderella because he doesn't follow her around; Remy is a lead, not a sidekick; the Cheshire Cat is not loyal to Alice; Belle's horse Philipe has too little screen time - another flavor of not following her around.
Actually, I put most of the horses in a separate category. I never realized how very few Disney animated horses there are who talk. Horace Horsecollar, Mr. Toad's Cyril, and the cast of Home on the Range are about it. Does Pegasus talk? I missed that one. More than that, aside from loyalty and the occasional incredulous look when the hero does something stupid, the vast majority do next to nothing *as characters.* You could exchange them almost at will and the movie would be no different. So most of the horses would be very far on the bottom and that's just not right. Sorry.
I should also confess that I have to have seen the movie. There was this stretch of 10 movies after the Renaissance where I only saw 3/10 movies and even then only years after they first came out. I know Black Cauldron because of the computer game and have passing familiarity with Hercules, but haven't actually seen either one. If someone would care to rate animal sidekicks from any of the missing movies and comment, I'll add them in.
What are the characteristics that make for interesting animal sidekicks?
First, they have to be able to converse or express themselves, otherwise there is no character. 10 if they can talk to anyone, 8 if they can only talk to the main character, 6 if they are not really verbal but communicate very well regardless (Abu, Pascal, and Merida's mother), 4 if humans can read their expressions, 2 if they can at least obey human commands. No one got a 0 - wouldn't be much of a sidekick.
Second is intelligence. 10 if they are smarter than the lead, 8 for adult intelligence, 6 for child intelligence, 4 for smarter-than-the-aaaaverage animal, and 2 for being just an animal. (Lucifer in Cinderella is just a cat, but gets 2 bonus points for cunning.)
Third: how important is this character to the plot? 10/8 - Essential. Without this character, the movie breaks down. 6/4 - Useful. The character moves the plot along in some way, preferably more than once. 2/0 - We could get rid of this character and it would make no difference.
Fourth: Does the character give comfort and advice to the lead? 10 if the lead would fall apart without their sidekick, 0 if the lead can get along just fine without them.
Fifth: Comedy. Nearly all of them are there primarily for comic relief, but that doesn't mean they are or are intended to be funny per se. Your mileage may vary on this one, but at 10 I repeat some of their jokes or funniest moments and 0 is a character that serious. 4 generally means either that they try to be funny, but I'm not impressed (Terk and Tantor in Tarzan), or that they aren't meant to be funny, but manage a little humor anyway (Jiminy Cricket).
Sixth: Music. 10 for Sebastian the Crab, 8 for nearly anyone with a great song, and 4 for having a forgettable song or just a bit part (Scuttle, Pip). Iago gets a special mention for the new Tiki Birds (2 pts).
Seventh: What would I feel if my son imitated them? 10 I'm proud, 0 I have serious reservations.
Eighth: How much do I like them? If I don't have a strong feeling of like, then I ask instead how annoying the character is from 0-10 and invert that. Terk is my Spinal Tap: the dial goes all the way up to 12.
The last column was what order they came in chronologically. I was interested to note that the average sidekick in the last 5 Disney movies got the same score as the average sidekick in the first 5 (44-45) but the 5 movies in the middle [near the end of the Renaissance] got only 26.
A friend had on her blog a countdown of the most annoying Disney characters ever. I decided to go about it more social-scientifically and put numbers on things. There are far too many characters to do them all at once. So this is my ranking of Disney's best animated animal sidekicks. All the descriptions and caveats and all the rest are below the fold.
(Updated 12/7 - fixed chronology, added Max, Pip, and Kevin, rescored Little Mermaid Talking on my brother's advice.)
My Top 5 (tie for 5th)
| Movie | Character | Talk | Int. | Plot | Comfort | Comedy | Music | Prince | My Pref | Total | Time |
| Pinocchio | Jiminy Cricket | 10 | 10 | 10 | 8 | 4 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 70 | 1 |
| Jungle Book | Baloo | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 10 | 66 | 3 |
| Little Mermaid | Sabastian | 8 | 10 | 8 | 5 | 6 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 65 | 4 |
| Tangled | Pascal | 6 | 10 | 6 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 10 | 56 | 14 |
| Aladdin | Iago | 10 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 52 | 5 |
| Enchanted | Pip | 9 | 10 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 4 | 4 | 7 | 52 | 11 |
| Brother Bear | Koda | 8 | 6 | 10 | 8 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 5 | 47 | 10 |
| Up | Doug | 10 | 3 | 8 | 4 | 10 | 0 | 6 | 6 | 47 | 12 |
| Aladdin | Abu | 6 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 0 | 6 | 10 | 46 | 5 |
| Little Mermaid | Scuttle | 8 | 6 | 2 | 4 | 8 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 44 | 4 |
| Princess & Frog | Ray | 8 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 2 | 8 | 6 | 2 | 44 | 13 |
| Brave | Mother | 4 | 8 | 10 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 8 | 44 | 15 |
| Cinderella | Jacques & Gus | 4 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 8 | 4 | 8 | 6 | 42 | 2 |
| Princess & Frog | Louis | 8 | 8 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 41 | 13 |
| Tarzan | Tantor | 8 | 8 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 40 | 9 |
| Little Mermaid | Flotsam & Jetsam | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 38 | 4 |
| Up | Kevin (fem) | 2 | 4 | 10 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 33 | 12 |
| Little Mermaid | Flounder | 8 | 6 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 30 | 4 |
| Tangled | Maximus | 4 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 29 | 14 |
| Cinderella | Lucifer | 2 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 27 | 2 |
| Mulan | Lucky Cricket | 4 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 26 | 8 |
| Tarzan | Terk | 8 | 6 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 24 | 9 |
| Little Mermaid | Max | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 20 | 4 |
| Aladdin | Raja | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 18 | 5 |
| Hunchback | Djali (goat) | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 10 | 7 |
| Pocahontas | Meeko et al | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 6 |
Nothing against Raja or Max, really - they got 6/10 just based on whether I like them or not. They just doesn't serve a purpose. What the table tells me is that none of these on the bottom do.
I was really surprised how high Koda came out and that Iago beat Abu. I was rooting for Abu to be in the top 5, but he's the only one I gave a 10 to that didn't make it.
I was also surprised how very few females there are on the list. Merida's mom (and you can argue she doesn't belong on the list for several reasons), and maybe Cri-Kee and Djali - I'm not sure and I'm not checking. Even the female leads don't have female sidekicks! Weirdness. [This convinced me to add Kevin from Up, even though her status as a proper sidekick may be questionable]
So there you have my take on Disney's animated animal sidekicks. Of course, now that I've given this way too much thought over the last two evenings, I'm starting to wonder what other groups of Disney characters I should rank and how. Villains? All the sidekicks I didn't include this time around? Human sidekicks? Leads? Any requests?
Again, full description and the wonkishness below the fold.
Who counts as an animal sidekick? The first rule is that you have to actually be an animal. This means
- No spirits or demons. This removes Mushu from Mulan, Pain and Panic from Hercules, and Aladdin's Genie
- No animate objects. This removes Aladdin's Magic Carpet, the supporting robots in Wall-E, and the entire supporting cast of Beauty and the Beast and Toy Story.
- and more controversially, no all-animal casts. The fact that the sidekick is an animal only matters if the lead is human (at least part of the time). This is a difficult choice because it removes a lot of great movies with great animal characters, but it would also make some of the criteria obsolete. All animals talk perfectly in an all-animal movie!
The other element is that they are real sidekicks to a human. They need to strongly identify with a main character and follow them throughout the movie. There may be more than one sidekick in a movie - witness Little Mermaid's shocking 5 sidekicks. Villains' sidekicks count. Here are four examples of animals who are not sidekicks: Bruno the dog in Cinderella because he doesn't follow her around; Remy is a lead, not a sidekick; the Cheshire Cat is not loyal to Alice; Belle's horse Philipe has too little screen time - another flavor of not following her around.
Actually, I put most of the horses in a separate category. I never realized how very few Disney animated horses there are who talk. Horace Horsecollar, Mr. Toad's Cyril, and the cast of Home on the Range are about it. Does Pegasus talk? I missed that one. More than that, aside from loyalty and the occasional incredulous look when the hero does something stupid, the vast majority do next to nothing *as characters.* You could exchange them almost at will and the movie would be no different. So most of the horses would be very far on the bottom and that's just not right. Sorry.
I should also confess that I have to have seen the movie. There was this stretch of 10 movies after the Renaissance where I only saw 3/10 movies and even then only years after they first came out. I know Black Cauldron because of the computer game and have passing familiarity with Hercules, but haven't actually seen either one. If someone would care to rate animal sidekicks from any of the missing movies and comment, I'll add them in.
What are the characteristics that make for interesting animal sidekicks?
First, they have to be able to converse or express themselves, otherwise there is no character. 10 if they can talk to anyone, 8 if they can only talk to the main character, 6 if they are not really verbal but communicate very well regardless (Abu, Pascal, and Merida's mother), 4 if humans can read their expressions, 2 if they can at least obey human commands. No one got a 0 - wouldn't be much of a sidekick.
Second is intelligence. 10 if they are smarter than the lead, 8 for adult intelligence, 6 for child intelligence, 4 for smarter-than-the-aaaaverage animal, and 2 for being just an animal. (Lucifer in Cinderella is just a cat, but gets 2 bonus points for cunning.)
Third: how important is this character to the plot? 10/8 - Essential. Without this character, the movie breaks down. 6/4 - Useful. The character moves the plot along in some way, preferably more than once. 2/0 - We could get rid of this character and it would make no difference.
Fourth: Does the character give comfort and advice to the lead? 10 if the lead would fall apart without their sidekick, 0 if the lead can get along just fine without them.
Fifth: Comedy. Nearly all of them are there primarily for comic relief, but that doesn't mean they are or are intended to be funny per se. Your mileage may vary on this one, but at 10 I repeat some of their jokes or funniest moments and 0 is a character that serious. 4 generally means either that they try to be funny, but I'm not impressed (Terk and Tantor in Tarzan), or that they aren't meant to be funny, but manage a little humor anyway (Jiminy Cricket).
Sixth: Music. 10 for Sebastian the Crab, 8 for nearly anyone with a great song, and 4 for having a forgettable song or just a bit part (Scuttle, Pip). Iago gets a special mention for the new Tiki Birds (2 pts).
Seventh: What would I feel if my son imitated them? 10 I'm proud, 0 I have serious reservations.
Eighth: How much do I like them? If I don't have a strong feeling of like, then I ask instead how annoying the character is from 0-10 and invert that. Terk is my Spinal Tap: the dial goes all the way up to 12.
The last column was what order they came in chronologically. I was interested to note that the average sidekick in the last 5 Disney movies got the same score as the average sidekick in the first 5 (44-45) but the 5 movies in the middle [near the end of the Renaissance] got only 26.
I hate to say it but I don't know for sure if Baloo belongs on the list. With your principal reason for excluding all-animal casts being that they can all talk perfectly well, a 95% animal cast with the one human having been inducted into the animal world (as opposed to the animal sidekick trying to get by in the human world) has pretty much the same problem.
ReplyDeleteTurning my nit-pick-o-meter up to 11, I don't know if it's fair to give 10 on talking to characters from The Little Mermaid. Prince Eric and other full humans can't understand them. At all. While we identify more with the human half of the merfolk, it's their fish half which lets them communicate with sea creatures.
ReplyDeleteOne to fill in for you:
ReplyDeletePip
Enchanted
Talking: 9. He speaks perfectly well within the cartoon world and, while he loses some of his ability to articulate words once he crosses over, the audience can understand him quite well. It seems like the only person who can't understand him is Prince Edward (and even he finally does at the end). He also communicates very well with body language. Again, the only one unable to understand is the dim-witted Prince.
Intelligence: 10. He often seems to be the most savvy character in the film. Heck, he writes a book at the end. How many animals do you know who write books?
Plot: 4. While hardly a main driving force of the film, he does save Giselle twice through mysterious gravity fluctuations initiated by sticking out his stomach, alerts the Prince to the situation and lets Giselle know that Edward is looking for her, which does have an impact. He would get a much higher score if the Prince weren't such a dimwit.
Comfort: debatable but I'll say 6. He doesn't get a lot of screen time together with Giselle in the film but you can tell that she mainly gets by on his smarts and devotion. When she is reunited with him, he is a great comfort to her.
Comedy: 10. A few of his lines get used on an almost daily basis around our home.
Music: 2. Sadly, he never gets a song of his own. However, his voice doesn't stick out among the nicely on-key critter chorus at the beginning of the film and the moment in which he imitates Giselle's song demonstrates that he has a sense of pitch.
Prince(ss): 4. He's kind of a hot head, prone to impatience, not to mention acrobatic feats which I wouldn't want my kid imitating.
Likability: 9. Despite those character flaws, any moment he's on the screen is a moment that makes the film more enjoyable. Honestly, I think he's my favorite character from the film.
Total: 54
Chronologically, I think this would be your new number 11, though I should note that you've got your numbers a little mixed up when you hit the teens.
There's clearly a continuum here. Brother Bear has the same problem because all the animals start talking only once he is one too. Pick your preferred cutoff and remove everyone above it and the rest of the table can stay the same.
ReplyDeleteI chose 100% not only for the speech, though that's the only one I mentioned. The principal is that the distinction of being an animal only matters when there are humans around. Speech, intelligence, comfort, and music are very different when you're dealing with a totally different species. I think it's a fundamentally different relationship and therefore fundamentally different characteristics that should be the criteria.
I was ready to give in to your Little Mermaid point, but then Joy and I talked about it. I remembered Sebastian was able to influence Prince Eric in "Kiss the Girl," so it may be possible for them to converse. Moreover, Ariel can still understand them even after she is turned into a full human. The dog can't talk to any of the other animals or Ariel either, suggesting there is a difference between him and Scuttle and Sebastian. (I forgot the dog sidekick! I doubt he's going to score very highly, though).
I think it's a decent point anyway. I'll take them down to 9 and update the table, adding Max.
Pip has been added, with a few point modifications for my own tastes from what I remember but I otherwise defer to your better knowledge. I had forgotten Enchanted's animated sections.
ReplyDeleteI also forgot Kevin (the bird in Up), giving us another female sidekick. Calling her a sidekick is a bit of a stretch, but oh well.
I have I hope fixed the chronology problem. For anyone keeping score, I'm using Wikipedia to order the chronology and determine which movies count. This list in particular. I had not been counting the live action movies with animated sequences, but I have no strong objection to it.
For the record, Roger Rabbit is a lead character, and his sidekicks are either animated humans or animate objects, and neither Mary Poppins nor Bednobs and Broomsticks have animal sidekicks. In Song of the South, the animated critters aren't sidekicks to a human, though Brer Bear is an animal sidekick to an animal and Brer Frog and Brer Rabbit both say howdy to humans. If I weren't such a stickler (in this list) for being a sidekick to a human, Brer Bear would go in and would score relatively highly, maybe say:
10 6 7 8 4 0 6 = 41
Other categories to do consider:
ReplyDeleteCutest Disney babies/toddlers
Saturday Morning Cartoons
Recurring villains in Saturday Morning Cartoons (to narrow down the list a bit)
Crimefighters/superheroes (Possibly my favorite from this list)
Cyborgs/robots
Disneyland/world rides which have bit the dust
Ducks
Dogs
Damsels in Distress
That should keep you busy for a while.
Gurgi - The Black Cauldron
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, my memory may be a little fuzzy here since it's been quite some time.
Talking: 9. Perfectly understandable but a limited vocabulary and grammar
Intelligence: 6. Very childlike
Plot: 10. He rescues the captured heroes and sacrifices his life to dispel the undead army and save the world, not to mention instigating the obligatory kiss between Tabor and the Princess.
Comfort: Begins the film at a 0 - he's little more than an annoyance - but ends the film sufficiently high in Tabor's esteem that he gives up his coveted magic sword to revive Gurgi and take him home, so I'd average it out to 5ish.
Comedy: 3. While you can get a chuckle at his expense on occasion and remembering "munchies and crunchies" always brings a smile, he's not really that funny.
Music: N/A
Prince(ss): 3. While his loyalty is admirable, he shows all the signs of clinical depression - self-punishment, belief that he has no friends, etc. He's also a thief.
Preference: 6. I've got a soft spot in my heart for him but he is kind of annoying.
Total:42/70 (since music isn't a factor in the film), calculates to 48/80
Order?
I think Doug from Up should be way higher. He's actually consistently entertaining (in my opinion), even though I don't like dogs. Plus, he makes anti-squirrel jokes, which gives him extra points. ... Which leads me directly to Pip, whom I don't even remember from Enchanted but who, by virtue of being a squirrel, should lose about fifteen or twenty points. Perhaps you can tell I no longer like squirrels? (They seem so cute until they start digging up my flower bulbs and eating my garden.) :) And wow, points to you for total statistical insanity. My Brice would be delighted--he loves spreadsheet geekiness.
ReplyDelete