Heart attack - part 2 - I fly out

   Wed May 20

The ladies in Mom's geneology groups sent in many expressions of love and support. Among our favorites was the reassurance that "There's no question that an army will be pulling for Julene. She is the core of more lives than you'll ever know." We learned of multiple churches that were praying for her and friends from all across the country and even some abroad. Pop said he was "overwhelmed with the love from so many."

Both Joy and I had been wondering - now that all my grading for the end of the semester was done, over a week late - if I shouldn't offer to come out and be with Pop to support him. We prayed about it individually, and she came back to tell me it was really important that I go. She says, "I felt an urgency that you had to go. And I came back and told you, You have to go!" With her encouragement and Pop's acquiescence, I booked a flight for the next day. We were planning a visit to the Dallas temple anyway, so dropping me off on the way to the temple would be easy and convenient. Steve and one of Pop's work colleagues had also volunteered to come out, though Steve had recently started a new job that wouldn't let him get away. But because I'm a professor and didn't have any more class duties, I could very easily get away. Joy says, "Bye, Daddddddyyyyyyy!"

Grandma graduated from being on an AC to being on a fan, hoping to keep her at a normal 37C. Too much CO2 was staying in her lungs, so the ventilator had been pushing most of her breaths. They reduced her sedation since noon, but she was unresponsive.

4:15pm - "Doctor: it's all just supportive care and see what her body does. Kidney function has become a concern." CT scan said no change, so if she doesn't wake up soon, they will do an MRI.

Among my mother's superpowers is terrible sleep, so she is often unable to come out until after noon even when she hasn't been in the ICU. So even as Dad comforted himself that Mom had been on a lot of sedative, I joked that it IS Mom we're talking about, so her taking time to wake up is no surprise. "This was some of the best sleep she's ever had!" Joy quips.

8:30 as Pop left for the night: "On good news, her heart kept beating on its own, supported by the pacemaker. She's breathing on her own, supported by the ventilator. On bad news: she is not responding to me or medical staff. ... Good news: I am confident she is in God's loving hands. I know there is family watching over her. I know there's dozens, perhaps hundreds, of good people praying for her. I don't pretend to know how this will end up, but I am not worried. Whatever happens, our love will not change, and our union will not be severed. Halluljah for the blessings of God's Holy Temples."

   Thursday

11am - "When I came in this morning, she opened her eyes and reached for my hand!" As he read her some of our messages and people's prayers, one of the janitorial staff said, "God is a God of miracles." Pop agreed: Yes, He is. "The hope is to remove the breathing tube today. The neurologist said he was jumping up and down with joy at her progress from a neurological standpoint."

As I went to print my boarding passes, I discovered I had inadvertantly booked them for June! I was fortunately able to rebook in a matter of minutes for the flights leaving in 4 hours and the rebooking fees weren't unreasonably more than getting tickets for the next day would have been anyway, so I felt fortunate. Joy realized she had left her phone at the one of the stores where she had errands. She was able to get a friend to pick it up for her and drop it at the house. She dropped me off several hours before my flight and I had a very easy time to my gate. My flights were uneventful, even if they were both delayed by 2+ hours. I got some work done. The family got to the temple late, but they managed to do their work anyway. At the airport I was feeling much more accepting and "ready" for the possibility this was all just a temporary repreive before Mom bid us farewell. 

12:40 they put in an NG tube to help feed her. Pop: "These last two hours have been heaven for me, to be able to talk to her and know she's heard me, to be able to hold hands with her and have her respond. I am grateful for kind gifts."

2pm: Pop "It seems like half the time I meet a new nurse, they tell me I saved her life." He was more inclined to notice where he could have done more and credit "the kindness of a watchful Heaven and the skill of trained people that have brought her back from the brink. But whatever it was, I'm so glad for these hours with her."

Emilee reassured Pop that God helped in part by having Pop there as His hands. Not everyone follows spiritual promptings. I seconded her sentiment: "We can sing that 'Joshua fought the battle' without taking any of the credit away from God."

3:00 - "They are concerned that there may be pneumonia. They are monitoring that and accompanying fever. They are giving her antibiotics. Kidneys aren't really functioning. They often take a hit with heart attacks. Hopefully they realize there's adequate blood flow and wake up." They also started giving her some medication to try to jump start the kidneys. 

Once I was there, Pop and I noticed that each nurse had a particular type of care they were particularly good at providing. One of them did Mom's hair tonight.

I landed close to midnight. It was a relief to be with Pop and hug each other.

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   Fri-Sun

My days in California passed each in much the same way. Once Pop and I were awake, we would pick up breakfast from Carl's Jr, then head in to the hospital where we spent the day. Pop would sit next to his lady's side, holding her hand constantly in his, reading on his phone with his other. I sat to the side using a small table to work on a research paper or my apostle book. I would sometimes relieve Dad at Mom's side, holding her hand while he got a meal. Nurses came and went, sometimes inviting us to go elsewhere so they could attend to Mom's needs. Dad's refrain with each new nurse was that our top priority was Mom's care and #2 was making sure the nursing staff could do their job, so we were more than happy to move anytime we needed to so we would not impede their vital work. We usually went home again between 8-9pm, slept when and as we could, and started up again the following day.

Saying goodnight

Caring for Mom was almost Dad's single priority. We attended church to partake of the sacrament and thank the Lord that she yet lived. Then we returned to our vigil. When she seemed more alert, he would read scriptures to her or the book they were reading together or maybe talk about the Dodgers until she seemed unresponsive again. Otherwise, he just sat by her side, holding her hand, waiting and watching for signs of life.

Among my main contributions was playing scribe. Pop was free to listen to the doctors while I typed up notes of what was said and passed them along to the rest of the family. I read a bit to Mom. I sang to her. Much of what I really accomplished, and the point, was to be there for Dad. We could talk about the day's progress, hug each other, and offer comfort and support. During our brief times at home, I moved some of the furniture around in the house to make a few pathways wider so that whenever Mom came back, she would have an easier time getting around with a walker or wheelchair.