How many children do we have (at home) today?

Having picked up Hyrum from BYU, we were back up to our full complement of five humans in the house. Because I'm mathematical me and we had the math-based eldest son we have, we had set up a lot of family systems that relied on regular number patterns. For instance, who gets to sit by Dad at the dinner table? Mom, obviously. Who else? Take the number of the day, divide by 3, and if it has remainder of 1, Hyrum; remainder 2, Lovey, no remainder, JT.* I've used the date to keep track of whose turn it is to say the evening prayer and a host of other things, so rotating through the family using the calendar has been an integral part of providing some semblance of order to our otherwise fun chaos.

It was surprisingly easy to move to odd/even when Hyrum left and oddly challenging to move back to our normal when he returned.

Except of course when Hyrum wasn't here. He's an adult now, and he has young adult things to do. So some days we were 5 and some days 4, and that made my little number systems wobble a bit. The kids were very flexible, thankfully, slipping into one gear or the other without complaint.

Then he became a missionary and doing missionary training from home. That means he's here, but can only be with the family at certain times and doesn't have the time for some of the normal things we do. So maybe we have 2.5 kids?

About to depart for her first
solo flight.

Then Nia went to FSY (church youth camp) for a week and we had, like, 1.5 kids.

Then she came back and a couple days later Hyrum left and we're back to 2 kids. Except when JT went on a young men's campout for a couple days and we only had one child. And now this week Nia's on an adventure, will come home, and then go on young women's camp right after....


So this week we are getting foretaste of what it will be like when both Hyrum and Nia have moved out of the house and we have only JT left.

Joy, please tell us about Lovey's grand adventure this week:

"When Grandma got really sick and we weren't sure if she was going to live, one of my first thoughts was that they would not be able to go and watch 5-yr old L [our neice] during A's [her sister's] campout. They were going to do that right after they came to visit us. I felt like we should offer to help take care of L since Pop and Grandma weren't able to do it.

"I contacted Emilee [sis-in-law], and she said she thought they could make something work getting L back and forth from her day camp. But A also had another one she wanted to go to to Palmyra, and L would be home all day during that one. So we talked about me going, me going with Nia...."

L, Nia, A at church today

We talked about all of us going on a weeklong vacation and taking L with us. We talked about driving halfway there, meeting them and exchanging prisoners for a few days. We ran the gamut of possibilities.

"We even tried to find if Nia could with A to Palmyra, but that wasn't an option. We finally settled on Nia going by herself in an airplane, which she has never done before. One of the primary reasons we decided not to send me is because of my work and trying to make sure I've gotten started on doing that and getting my hours.

"Hyrum made a comment about wanting to be the one to go take care of L, but he was going to be on his mission so that wasn't an option. Then JT was, like, what about me? And he's just not old enough - that's a long time to take care of a 5 yr old, full time, three days in a row."

The fact that both boys also wanted to watch over and care for L was very touching. We all agreed they were sweet. 

"In the end, Pop offered to pay for the flight and we sent our little girl to Indiana. I'm really glad that we could offer to help.

"We all want to be at Steve and Emilee's house!"

Nia took this from the plane

* - For those numerically inlined and worried about the 31st and Hyrum getting too many turns, we also rotate that annually. So one year Hyrum got all the 31st's, and the next year Nia did, and so on.

Nia - French face painting and flowers

One of the things Nia was most excited about for starting her public, online school was that they would let her take French as a foreign language. After we brought Hyrum home, Nia spent a day at a school fair a few hours away representing the French club. She painted various faces using French-inspired designs. Her drawings are below the fold. Joy: "Her teacher flew all the way from Chicago to go to that fair, and brought French cookies from France! She had a real blast."

By happy accident, just before we found a beret at WalMart on clearance for $1, and she has been wearing it proudly with great regularity. 

During the winter she got some bulbs from a lady at church, which she planted with great eagerness. She feared for their safety during the winter freeze, but they all survived. One has even started flowering - about one new flower every couple days. It blooms for a day, shrinks, and then something eats it. We appreciate that whatever it is doesn't seem to eat the flower until after it has blossomed.

Picking up Hyrum from BYU

Last week Hyrum - now Elder Watson - left for the MTC and eventually Pittsburgh, PA and its surroundings. Most of our summer has been spent preparing him (and us!) for this glorious two year quest of his. So let's back up!

Hyrum loved BYU. He enjoyed his first year of studies as a math major, attended lots of sports games, made friends, and generally had a blast. He also got his mission papers turned in before he turned 18. In February he got his call to the PA Pittsburgh Mission and we started preparations. April 22-23 we drove up to Provo to fetch our son back home for almost two months.

Nia took an impressive number of landscape photos from the back seat during the drive. I'm including one here. 

One fond memory was on the first day I asked the kids what they wanted for dinner. They excitedly chose KFC, which we can't typically get in town and most years only have on Dec 23 as a family tradition. On the one hand, it was delicious. Our main takeaway, however, was to never do that again in the car -- no plates or silverware makes it REALLY hard to dish out greasy chicken and sides! Lots of clothes got messy. Chaotic fun.

We made it to BYU and checked into our hotel just across the freeway from the Orem temple. It's not often (for me) you get a view of the temple from your hotel! We were there for just a few minutes when Hyrum let us know he was done with his finals and ready to receive us.

After a quick peek at his room, we drove to the tennis courts across campus so he and JT could play some tennis before leaving. J: "Didn't you also play with him?" I did for a few minutes. We grabbed a bite at the cafeteria - a much more expansive and impressive place than when I was there 25 years ago - and then spent a frenzied hour moving Hyrum's stuff out of his room and cleaning it up for an earlier-than-expected inspection. We made it! J: "Though we did miss a couple of drawers, they were okay with me cleaning them out after the inspection." What a nice Mommy! Nia was also very helpful. "Hyrum wished he hadn't needed any help. It's hard to move."

After a short walk through campus, Hyrum went to say goodbye to some friends and we went back to the hotel. Joy and I repacked some of his stuff to take up less room and chose some cleaning supplies we really didn't need to haul back to Texas with us. Even though we four had only brought a couple carry-ons, unloading an entire dorm room filled the car surprisingly well! That was Hyrum's last night at the Y for the next few years. Here is Nia at the library, the place of her soul's delight.

Heart attack - part 3 - real recovery, but slow

    Friday, May 22

Friday morning we were delighted to learn that her kidneys had started up again. Joy: "Yeah, we were! We felt like she might not die when her kidneys started working." The next few days the progress was veeery subtle - just gradually reducing the amount of support the machines were giving her and letting her body take on more and more of its customary functions.

The pacemaker was doing every beat yesterday, now her heart is beating on its own with the pacemaker as a backup. Her breathing was improving with perfect CO2 levels, so they regularly reduced the amount of oxygen they were supporting her with. Her blood pressure was stable. The staff was finally ready to say that she would be in the hospital for another week, even in a good scenario. (She did finally get out June 12, so, yeah.) We were even more delighted to see Mom responsive, nodding slightly in response. 

Nurse Shannon was giving us wonderfully detailed information about just what was going wrong with her heart still and was amazed that we were able to follow along. As Pop explained how Mom's sons were both PhDs and he was a lawyer, the nurse turned to Mom and said, "You're from a family of nerds!" *Nod nod* Her eyes didn't open much, but her face was expressive.

If I remember the nurse's diagram correctly, the "SN" button there on the top left (of the picture, but the right side of her heart) wasn't firing correctly. We agreed with the doctors that she would need a pacemaker + defibrillator because a regular pacemaker wouldn't prevent what had happened.

1:20pm - The ventillator tube came out and they installed her CPAP mask. 

I read scriptures over the phone in the evening with my family, and I got a chance to hear Mom's first whispered words of "I love you."

Joy: I bet that was really nice. That was worth the price of the ticket!

--------------------

Heart attack - part 2 - I fly out

   Wed May 20

The ladies in Mom's geneology groups sent in many expressions of love and support. Among our favorites was the reassurance that "There's no question that an army will be pulling for Julene. She is the core of more lives than you'll ever know." We learned of multiple churches that were praying for her and friends from all across the country and even some abroad. Pop said he was "overwhelmed with the love from so many."

Both Joy and I had been wondering - now that all my grading for the end of the semester was done, over a week late - if I shouldn't offer to come out and be with Pop to support him. We prayed about it individually, and she came back to tell me it was really important that I go. She says, "I felt an urgency that you had to go. And I came back and told you, You have to go!" With her encouragement and Pop's acquiescence, I booked a flight for the next day. We were planning a visit to the Dallas temple anyway, so dropping me off on the way to the temple would be easy and convenient. Steve and one of Pop's work colleagues had also volunteered to come out, though Steve had recently started a new job that wouldn't let him get away. But because I'm a professor and didn't have any more class duties, I could very easily get away. Joy says, "Bye, Daddddddyyyyyyy!"

Hyrum on the eve of his mission

The end of April to mid-June has been an intensive time for our family. Hyrum returned from BYU - and I plan on putting up some posts about that time - but more importantly he is becoming a fulltime missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints later this evening.

Feb 11 Hyrum received his call to the Pennsylvania Pittsburgh Mission, which encompasses the western portion of PA and small pieces of NY, OH, and WV. That area includes where Joy lived as she got her masters degree in counseling.

In his immediate preparations since receiving the call, he took a mission prep class at BYU, was ordained an elder, and entered the temple for the first time. He drove up at 4 in the morning every Friday with his mother (a current temple worker) to the temple to spend half the day serving in the House of the Lord. Today he will finish reading the Book of Mormon (for the 28th time), which he restarted once he received the call. There has of course been lots of purchasing and outfitting - with thanks to my parents and cousin Laurel - and packing.

H: I just wake up every morning and do my thing and go to sleep.

There has of course been time for fun as well - lots of tennis and time with us. But how are you feeling on the early morning eve of being set apart?

H: Honestly there's been a lot of suspense, and I've been waiting for it to start for a while. Like, I want to hold on to my last bit as a regular person, but I also want it to start. I am super excited about getting the opportunity to serve the Lord and bring lots of people to Him, and hopefully I figure out sometime how to do that. 

H: I think about the three Nephites and how maybe it hadn't possibly been a very long time since Jesus had first called them when He asked them what they wanted most and they asked to teach the word for ever and continuously bring other people to Him. Maybe they hadn't fully figured out how that worked yet, and I know that's something I want and have that opportunity to do. I'm happy to get the chance.

When I remember my mission prep, I read through several classic gospel books: A Marvelous Work and a Wonder by LeGrand Richards and The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball and a few others. I'm not 100% certain, but I think I also read War and Peace for some reason - my freshman year at BYU gave me a taste of very long literature. 

H: I wish I had taken the time to read some of those books too. They sound interesting.

But I haven't ever worried that Hyrum didn't understand the gospel. He knows a lot of facts about it, sure. More than that, he sees how the Atonement of Jesus Christ is central to everything, and correctly puts second things second.

H: That's something I've really learned in the last few months.

Heart attack - part 1 - Crisis

I want to preserve what has happened to my mother the last few weeks, especially the texts from Pop. All times are Californian. At this point, Mom is gradually improving and there is talk of her finally leaving the hospital for a rehab facility, so read this with a knowledge that things work out happily.

   Monday, May 18

Pop and Grandma were having lunch together in the dining room, talking about the Book of Ruth. Pop was sharing "how I realized this morning that it is a beautiful demonstration of what covenantal love is all about" when she suddenly said, "I feel odd." She started breathing compulsively and her head slumped down. Pop called 911, and her breathing stopped while he was talking to them, then slumped over, unconscious. Pop was able to lower her to the ground and start chest compressions to get her breathing started again. The paramedics arrived, moved the dining room table out of the way, and continued trying to revive her.