Goals 2025

I tried something new with my goal-making this year. My New Year's Resolutions were a series of things I wanted to do more of, but without promising myself I'd do them literally everyday from now on. I posted five 3x5 cards on a wall and any day I accomplished one of the goals, I put a tick mark. Each goal had 14 days on it and once I got to 5 ticks on each day, that meant I accomplished the goal 70 times. 

We're very nearly half-way through the year (June 30 is 180 days). I've got 3 goals done (finished one today) and I'm shooting for a fourth by June 30. I've added some more goals in between, and each time I finish a goal I replace it with another. I also reward myself for every 7 days I complete a certain goal.

Most days I get to put 2-4 tick marks up. Once the kids are in bed, if Joy is otherwise occupied, the board of goals is one of the first places I go to figure out what I want to do next. And because I start fresh every day, there's no guilt at having "broken resolutions". I don't have an end date by which I have to have completed any of the goals. This is just something I want to work on and incorporate into my life more.

So all in all, I think it's been a good system. I've learned some unexpected things about how to manage myself in the process too.

My daughter, the singer

 In late April, our stake put on a special musical performance honoring the prophet Joseph Smith and his mission to testify of Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. The script was written by our stake music coordinator. Hyrum and Nia got involved initially, but when Hy learned his regional UIL exam would be the same day as one of the performances, he dropped out. Nia and one of us parents drove out twice a week for rehearsals.

The youth danced and sang and formed an orchestra and did the narration. It was really a very impressive event!

The family attended both performances. These videos come from the second night with two of Nia's favorite songs: Israel, Israel, God is Calling (as an upbeat fiddle song) and My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee by Rob Gardner.

My daughter, the dancer

Nia, formerly known as "Princess" on this blog, has finished two years of dance at junior high. Here she is performing with her class.

She is just right of center at the start of each.

Nia: We were sad at the end of the year when we found out our teacher was leaving. I may not be doing dance anymore, but still. She was nice. She cared about how well we did in class and helped us improve. I'm a lot closer to being able to do the splits now, even if I never quite made it.

A successful operation

Last week, John-Thomas went in for a hernia operation at Cook Children's Hospital in Fort Worth! I am very pleased to report it was a resounding success.

The doctors figured there was only a hernia. The ultrasound claimed there was cancer also. The hospital gave us urgent attention and from the discovery at his annual physical to the operation, less than 6 weeks had passed. The outstanding news is that the operation demonstrated there was absolutely no cancer to worry about at all.

When my parents came out, Dad gave JT a priesthood blessing. I gave him another the night before. Both of us promised him that there would be no longterm damage, that the doctors would know what to do for him, and that he would recover quickly. We are thrilled that these promises came true. My confession is that it took real faith on my part to make those promises - the doc had me convinced there was something that needed urgent removal, that JT would be there overnight, and that there was real risk of longterm damage. I cannot express my gratitude sufficiently to a merciful Heaven that this was not the case this time.

John-Thomas has been recovering very well. He stood in church and sang to the fathers with the rest of the children. He has been up and walking around all day today with very few complaints. To top it all off, he has been keeping up with his home schooling English lessons.

Joy: We have had so many people thoughtfully inquiring after his health. We have appreciated that.

20th Anniversary

Patrons of the Arts,
June 2023

DW: We are celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. Rather than having a larger trip, we decided to devote special time every day for a bit over a week, making 7-10 dates together.

Joy: We went for time together and for variety. Our goal was at least a couple hours together every day.

DW: We officially started with Pride and Prejudice at the Granbury Opera House. We were pleased to see that they still have their list of supporters from 2023 up, which includes us! 

Joy: We had some nice conversations with the people we sat near. When we first sat down, they had some windows on stage at really odd angles and we were thinking that was strange. The windows came down either at the front or back of the stage depending on if the characters were inside or out. It was really a good impetus for us to watch some more of the movie (Firth and Ehle). The love story seemed a lot more abrupt in the play!

DW: It got me thinking about the real challenge of taking a novel as complex and character-rich as P&P and turning it into something for 90-120 minutes. Some characters are just going to end up on the cutting room floor. And in this case, the growing love story between the two main characters was one of the casualties. Intermission ended, Elizabeth walked on stage, and said, "Well, that was a lovely six weeks in Derbyshire!" and you now knew we had skipped Lady Catherine and every conversation that would redeem Darcy in her eyes. But it's easier on the set designer! The letter shows up, telling us Kitty has run off, and Darcy happens to call on her whole family to learn the disaster. Lady Catherin did still show up at the very end.

Joy: I thought she did a good job. I liked how they did a flashback to the ball at Merytown, talking about what happened while other characters danced and Darcy insulted. I think they didn't have near enough of an idiot for the dad, which I don't see as an improvement. He's really supposed to be a comedian in the show.

DW: I was impressed to see Mary played for laughs.

Joy: Mary was done well.

DW: And Mr. Collins was more of a fop, less cringe, with his over-exaggerated bow. Mrs. Bennett was in too much self-command.

Joy: No kidding!

DW: And afterwards we got on the free trolley for a short ride around the square in the dark. The trolly ride reminded Joy of the Cinderella carriage ride we took after the family dinner on our wedding day.

DW: Over the 20 years, we have had to replace Joy's wedding ring a few times. She likes opals, but opals aren't really good at staying put in their ring setting. The first time we had to replace it, I hid her new ring in an unopened jar of Nutella. We opened it for New Year's and Joy was very pleasantly surprised to have a new ring.

Parents discuss graduation - part 2 - the graduation ceremonies

DW: By the oddities of calendars, Hyrum graduated with an Associates degree in Arts and in Sciences before he got his high school diploma on May 23. He managed both with a 4.0. For pictures of his Ranger graduation, see here.

Driving to his Ranger graduation was an adventure. Both Waze and Google Maps did not know where Ranger College's auditorium is! We ended up behind their football stadium and on a dirt road or two before we finally found it.

Joy: I really loved the talk given by their returning graduate, but Hyrum thought it was too long. That graduation was the first Real feelings for me, that this is really happening and he is really becoming an adult ... and probably my first feelings of him really leaving. Like, it all felt more real with the graduation ceremony. And when they awarded the diplomas and they say, "We now proclaim you" whatever, I was really proud of all the high school students who did this. What an amazing accomplishment! I was glad he was able to sit with friends on the stand because they had few enough graduates they could all sit on the stage. (Only graduates from the high schools and certifications were at that particular graduation.)

DW: It was a pleasant ceremony. It was packed. I wish we could have sat closer so my camera could get a GOOD picture. Thankfully, a friend at work had a better seat and she got shots of Hyrum by her boy.

Joy: His high school graduation was memorable because he was valedictorian, but I really felt the Solemnity of his Ranger graduation, the feeling that My Boy is an adult and I should treat him like one.

DW: My parents came out for Hyrum's high school graduation, which we really appreciate. It was in the brand spanking new stadium, christened for the event. I was surprised fewer people mentioned that fact.

Joy: The whole city came! It was insane! They only ran out of pamphlets/programs two hours before it started!

[Left: Hyrum is the tall fellow ont he right.]

DW: We got up to the second story on the far side of the field, and could see the procession leaving the junior high across the street to prepare for the march across the new football field. You could hear the clanking of all the medals the lead students were wearing. In our last post, I showed Hyrum's many medals. He chose to only wear three for the graduation in his customary modesty - one for tennis, one for UIL, and Valedictorian.

The salutatorian gave a good speech about all their graduating class had been through, reviewing the past.

Joy: I appreciated the details she gave about the class as a whole.

DW: Here is his introduction:

DW: Then Hyrum stood and spoke of the future, which you can also hear at the earlier post. It was a spectacular thing, seeing him there at the very front of the graduates in the first chair.

Joy: He saw us and waved when he marched in. That was nice.

DW: I was touched that he not only mentioned his parents, but called us by name. He didn't have to.

Joy: We were definitely stars in his show.

Parents discuss graduations - part 1 - the road to graduation

DW: We alsways knew that Hyrum was very good at math. He finished algebra in 6th grade.  Sometime around 2019, we were discussing and debating how we were going to keep up with his voracious mathematical ability and his schooling in other ways. One issue was that he just wasn't challenged. He was getting 100 on absolutely everything they handed him and he was bored.

One day, I felt a prompting from the Spirit that we needed to have him skip a grade so that he could be about his life's work sooner. Normally skipping a grade would have happened some years ago already. But now was the time. So we started gearing up to figure out how to help him get through 6th, 7th, and 8th grade in 1.5 years.

Joy: I did leg-work with schools, talking about what they would require for him to skip a grade. They mostly said, "He can't." I said, "Okay, if he did x, would be qualified for the next grade," making scenarios until I figured out exactly what they needed to have happen, because they weren't willing to consider it.

I worked with Hyrum to help him test out of some classes through UT-Austin.

DW: I remember writing homework and tests for him for 7th grade history.

Freshman Hyrum,
Sep 2021

Joy: And we did a lot of practice STAAR science and STAAR algebra tests at home.

DW: And then COVID hit, just after his birthday. He has often said that one of his birthday presents - over spring break, just as lockdown started - was not needing to return to school that year.

Joy: I don't think he appreicated that birthday present. He didn't want to do school online at any moment in all of his life.

DW: But given that strong push, we enrolled him in a public online school for 7th/8th grade. They worked with us to identify what classes he had already finished thanks to his UT-Austin tests, and he took half-7th grade and half-8th grade classes that year 2020/2021. Full credit to Hyrum particularly for one of his science classes that he did almost exclusively through YouTube videos from Texas middle school teachers! And he used that to pass the STAAR science test. By the end of May 2021, we all were able to convince Stephenville that he had passed all the 8th grade STAAR tests and was ready for high school a year early.

Hyrum's biggest concern was that he would be a year younger and a year smaller than the boys in sports, and that would hurt his sports abilities. It likely did make some difference, but given that he has always been tall for his age, the difference wasn't as bad as it could have been. He was in soccer for a year and then switched to tennis where the team was more supportive and he had more of a chance to succeed.

That time he scored a soccer goal and 
his team made a bridge to cheer for him

Sophomore tennis

One of Hyrum's choices and personality traits that I admire is that in the last four years, I have not heard him speak ill of anyone. He made friends in both the grade he left and the grade he entered, and he kept both ties up. He did occasionally tell us stories about what happened that day that had us raising our eyebrows, but no matter what anyone did to him, he called them friends and would help them and do all he could on their behalf. His willingness to forgive is impressive.

Hyrum discusses graduation and goals

Hi there. Hy here.

Dad: Tell us about graduation.

Hy: In the weeks leading up to graduation, people kept asking me, "Is your speech ready yet? What's it about? Are you going to use brain rot?" And all I had was, "no. I will not." Eventually I did get it written and I was mainly focusing on the future and encouraging people to be grateful for the circumstances that come up in their lives, no matter how good or bad they are.

(Dad: Here is a compressed version of his speech.)

Dad: Years ago you decided you wanted to be valedictorian. I'm pretty sure that while Mom and I didn't tell you not to, we weren't overly encouraging. I kept trying to convince you that 93% is an A and that's good enough. You went on to get valedictorian and a double associates degree anyway. Tell us about your dream.

Hy: At the end of first semester freshman year, that was when we would get our grades and ranks for the first time. I was like, "Hm, maybe I might be number one, but I don't know everyone in our class." I saw my rank, and it was #2. And I said, "Hey, maybe I have a chance!" So that became my goal, and I tried to make my grades so I could get the #1 spot.

Dad: What was the hardest part?

Hy: It was definitely junior year when I was taking AP chemistry and AP calculus, cause those are the two hardest classes in our school. I was up late doing homework most nights. But that year was also the year when I had the best grades and gave me a big boost in the race.

Dad: What was the best part?

Hy: In the week before graduation and after, just knowing I had accomplished something really great and folks were cheering me on. 

Dad: The glow of victory. What did you like about your Ranger graduation?

Hy: The cookies at the end. *lol*

Dad: Those were good. [Pictures below the fold are from his Ranger graduation]

Prince Hyrum, the Superstar gets ready to graduate

In May Hyrum graduated from Stephenville High School as the Valedictorian, and also from Ranger College with two Associates degrees in Arts and Sciences. In preparation for that, we took a lot of pictures of him looking awesome for his graduation announcement. Here are some.

A little teary today

 Why am I a little teary today?

• A series of stressful dreams for the last two weeks. 
• I woke up filled with a lot of fibromyalgia pain. Took a long time to get moving.
• I had a long conversation with a ward member about her family, wishing there were only something I could do.
• Another ward member suffering and feeling powerless to help
• Thankful for a couple brethren who told me about the service they were giving
• I bore my testimony in church about how our Heavenly Father communicates His love for each of us.
• 
  Took a lovely walk on a surprisingly hot day with Joy and Prince. We talked about Prince becoming an adult. Sometimes these days, it's all I can do not to just stare and stare at this nearly-grown young man. I am amazed at who he is becoming. I think of how dearly I'm going to miss him while he is at BYU. (As Emily says in Our Town, "Let's really look at one another! It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another.") 
• We haven't really shared this publicly yet, but someone in our home is going to need an urgent surgery on the near side. I spent the day fasting and praying about that.
• I didn't take a nap.
• 
  I worked on a new puzzle for a while and made great progress. (What does that have to do with feeling teary?) Well, I like puzzles because it feels like I'm taking chaos and putting it into a beautiful order, bit by bit. And I tend to want to work on them most when I'm feeling like I don't have control of things.
• We played Great Dalmuti, and all five of us enjoyed it! Helping everyone enjoy the same activity feels like a real accomplishment some days.
• As we read D&C 58, God tells His Saints that after the tribulations come the blessings. A child wanted to know why they had to do chores in this house, as if that were a tribulation and when exactly do the blessings come? I was likely too intense in my answer, and I feel bad about that.
• I'm reading these wonderful old blogs about Princess learning to say words and Prince discovering math for himself at age 4 ... before going off to BYU as a math major.

So, dear diary, that's why I'm feeling a little teary today, like, all day.