(A parody of the "Articles of Faith" by Joseph Smith that the children and I worked on at the dinner table tonight.)
1. We believe in the use of forks, knives, spoons, cups, plates, tortilla shells, sandwich bread, and so forth.
2. We claim the privilege of eating healthy foods according to the dictates of our own tastes and allergies, and allow all our children the same privilege, let them avoid meat, dairy, or whatever else they will.
3. We believe that a man will suffer for his own poor eating choices and not for those of the person sitting next to him.
4. We believe that all mediocre food may be saved by application of the condiments and sauces of the kitchen.
5. We believe that the first condiments and sauces of the kitchen are: first, salt; second, Lawry's; third, immersion in ketchup; fourth, laying on of cheesy white sauce.
6. We believe in the literal gathering of ingredients.
7. We believe that a cake must be made by Mom by yumminess and by the laying on of ice cream.
8. We believe in being polite, chewing slowly, not talking with our mouth full, maintaining pleasant conversation, and in blessing the hands of the person who made the food; indeed we may say that we follow the recipes of Alton Brown: we eat all cuisines, we have learned many recipes and hope to be able to learn all the recipes; if there is anything yummy, healthy, of artistic presentation, or praiseworthy, we seek after these meals.
For the record, we do not believe in the same diet that existed in the pre-historic days, namely the Paleo Diet - in case anyone wondered. We also recognize that some of these things we believe in are aspirational in nature. :)
