The world needs Spiderman

Aunt May: I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.

More than ten years ago, Joy was out for the evening, probably a Relief Society activity. I decided to catch up on my movie watching and rented Spider-man 2 with Toby Maguire. I cleaned and fixed our fan while I watched.

I had been in a hard place that week. I forget what was going on. It was just one of those times when it was hard being the Dad. 2-3 small kids, trying to get tenure, not feeling like I was good enough or capable or up to the job. I don't recall what year this was so I'm not sure what my church calling was, but chances are pretty good I was feeling overwhelmed about that too.

And I watched Peter Parker struggle. Everything that could possibly go wrong for him does. One by one he loses everything he cares about, all so he can keep on being Spidey. Eventually the stress gets to him (spoiler alert for an old movie) and he lets go. Throws his suit in the garbage. Done.

But he still doesn't get what he wants. Everything still goes wrong, and the world gets worse because there's no Spiderman there. Finally he has a talk with Aunt May, who tells him that the world needs Spiderman, and she says the quote up above. And he accepts who and what he has to be, because that's who he is and who, deep down, he really wants to be.

It thrilled me.

It gave me strength and courage to keep going when it was hard, and to look forward with hope. 

I bought the movie. It's sat in our collection ever since; hasn't been watched. Until now.

So Hyrum tells me he knows the Disney collection because that's most of what we watch around here, but he doesn't know the superheroes. We talk about which of the many, many movies he might want to watch and we settle on Spider-man 2 with Toby Maguire. Today's the first day of school for JT, so he's not home. Nia is out with Joy and I just finished posting one of my classes, so let's take some time to watch some more Spidey.

Hyrum Maguire?

We paused so I could get back to work just after Aunt May's speech, just before Doc Ock comes back to get him. And I look at my boy. My talented, smart, capable, honest, forgiving, noble boy. My amazing son.

And he's leaving in 10 days for college. It's a wonderful adventure. And I know, I know he will continue being and becoming someone amazing, someone who will be a hero in the lives of people. And I said to him,

"Hyrum, it's hard to be a person of great responsibility. Everyone has expectations of you. I want you to know that I know you will do great. And no matter what you choose, I will always love you."We hugged. I cry (a lot). 

Golly, I'm going to miss him!

I know that there will be days and nights for him when it gets really hard because he's going to do so much, and some days too much, and he's not going to feel up to all of it. It happens to most of us at some point. And I just pray, that on some night when when he feels that weight on him, God will send him something to remind him that there is a hero inside him, something to help keep him honest, give him strength, make him noble, and finally allow him to keep on going forward with pride, even when it feels like the cost may be high.

Who knows? Maybe he'll even find this. Excelsior!