Joy's birthday plus some other photos

The most important thing most every Oct/November in our home is usually Joy's birthday. We also had a surprise visit from Pop and Grandma, who delivered us a replacement for our car Joy had just had an accident in. Not knowing if we'd be able to drive it again, my parents offered to just GIVE us their car. We very thankfully accepted. Among the nice parts is that they drove the exact same make and year we did, just in red instead of black. That made the trade much easier. Once we learned that our black car would live again, we similarly handed it off to another family who had lost theirs.

Joy says:

I have a hard time deciding where to start. Everyone takes such good care of me. This year I feel very successful in not getting stressed for the holiday season. My birthday is so close to the season that I often have a hard time enjoying it. So that is my biggest gift to myself: being relaxed for my birthday. Part of being relaxed is paying for a cake and not making it myself. I got a lovely cake from HEB, the Oreo ice cream cake, yum. At some point Derrill got me some flowers that I am still enjoying. We were at the store and Derrill asked me what kind of flowers I wanted for my birthday. I looked at all of the pretty flowers and wondered if I would finally have the courage to get baby's breath instead of large flowers. As I asked myself that, I started looking at the Baby's Breath and found a nice marroon colored group. I told Derrill I was thinking about getting the little maroon flowers, He seemed ok with it, so I got them. I really enjoyed them and I might get that kind of flower again sometime. 

What makes us who we are

I was reminded today of a traumatic experience from long ago that has been a great blessing to my family, only it took this long to see it.

When I was a teenager, I had a young PhD student for my Sunday School teacher at church. I will spare you the details, but I considered the class an unmitigated disaster. More than half of my youth group stopped attending Sunday School altogether that year, some went largely inactive, and I blamed him. I never once felt the Holy Spirit in his class. I tried to get the adults to intervene, but they would simply excuse him, explaining to me that a PhD program is very difficult and probably took all his time and he meant well. From my position today, I wonder just how much of a terror I must have been to him as well.

I swore to myself that if that was what getting a PhD meant, then I would NEVER get one.

...

I was a missionary in Germany when I realized I loved to teach and that was what I wanted to do for a living. I asked myself who I would teach. I couldn't imagine grade school, teaching that 3+2=5 year in and year out. I didn't want to go back to junior high or high school. That meant I would be a college professor, and that meant I needed a PhD. (I hadn't yet worked out what I would teach, just where.)

That gave me more than a moment of pause. I worried and fretted. I did NOT want to become another Brother Suchandso. So I made a set of promises to myself, about what I would and would not do, and importantly how I would not speak about my field (whatever it was).

...

I started my PhD program, met Joy, and we started dating. One of our early dates was to a church activity in her ward. She sat me down with a group of men and then wandered off to visit with some sisters. I introduced myself and we had a nice time together.

When Joy returned, she asked if I had been regaling them with economics. They said, no. He did tell us he was studying economics, but then we had a pleasant conversation. That was when she said, "That's because he's my well-behaved economist."

To me, the most important word in that sentence was "MY". I smile still to think of it.

...

I told my children this story today after the thing that reminded me of all this. Joy rejoiced at the great benefit that Sunday School teacher was to our family. If I had spoken like many PhD students, or PhD-havers, she would not have been at all interested in me. We never would have dated, let alone got married.

How blessed I am to have had such a terrible experience at church for 10 months! It made me a better teacher, happier in my profession and at church, and brought me Joy. Who knew that's what God was cooking!

July-Oct 2025: praise for Initiative and Sewing

Nia trying on one of my hats
and a new hair style.

JT and me at Six Flags Over Texas

In October, JT was honored for showing a lot of Initiative. His teacher praised him for how he tries to get his work done and to help everyone else in class be happy. He asks a lot of great questions that show his understanding and a creative mind. As far as we are concerned, she really nailed a lot of what makes our youngest great!

 Joy and I enjoyed a date at the cafeteria and another walking along the Bosque River Trail

Nia started attending an online public high school. That's been very useful for her medical visits! They sent her a school shirt, but it was several sizes too small (kids vs. adult!) and they couldn't send us another. So she ripped open the seam and put in a decorative trim. Here she is showing off her new shirt and shiny shoes.

Four religion teachers who meant a lot to me

While attending BYU, I had a great opportunity to attend some outstanding religion courses. Though the details have changed over the years, students at BYU are expected to take a certain number of religion courses in addition to the standard general education requirements of science, math, humanities, and so forth. While we were revisiting my old stomping grounds to prepare Hyrum to join the Y, we found a set of posters recognizing some of the great religion teachers who have worked there.

Jerome Perkins taught me the second half of the Doctrine and Covenants, and I think we had one other course together though it's escaping me just now. I felt that walking into his classroom was walking onto holy ground, and maybe I should remove the shoes from off my feet. I wrote copious notes in my scriptures, which I have copied over into new copies since. I loved how he opened my eyes to the crescendo of Joseph Smith's teachings from the revelation on the three degrees of glory, through the Kirtland Temple and the Missouri and Nauvoo eras.

Alan Parrish was a friend and a great teacher. He was Tall and had Big, Big hands that would engulf you when you shook hands. He invited his classes to his house each semester for a barbecue. I can't remember why he and I decided to call me Orson, after Orson Pratt, but that was my nickname for three delightful semesters: two semesters of Book of Mormon and one on the Pearl of Great Price. His is one of the very few gospel teachers whose voices I can still remember as he taught particular lessons, such as caring for the poor as King Benjamin taught or Alma's warnings of the weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth of the wicked. He teased regularly and let me tease him right back. He got people thinking about what the scriptures truly mean.

Victor Ludlow taught me about Isaiah and Judaism. Every four years as we study the Old Testament, I pull the textbook he wrote off the bookshelf to teach my children how to recognize parallelism and chiasmus in the scriptures and appreciate the beauty of Hebrew poetry. He held a Passover seder at BYU, and I think it would be fair to blame him for much of my interest in honoring Passover every Easter. His courses were the most scholarly rigorous religion courses I had.

Gaye Strathearn taught me to love the writing of Paul. I would have a lot more to say about her, but ... there was this girl. It was a crazy summer, taking calculus, New Testament, and something like 5 hours of dance practice a day while falling in love with someone I shared New Testament class with. It was an amazing time, but the fact that I came away with not just a love of a girl, but a love for Paul says something pretty special about her teaching. Like my D&C, my paper New Testament still contains and honors her notes and teaching.