What makes us who we are

I was reminded today of a traumatic experience from long ago that has been a great blessing to my family, only it took this long to see it.

When I was a teenager, I had a young PhD student for my Sunday School teacher at church. I will spare you the details, but I considered the class an unmitigated disaster. More than half of my youth group stopped attending Sunday School altogether that year, some went largely inactive, and I blamed him. I never once felt the Holy Spirit in his class. I tried to get the adults to intervene, but they would simply excuse him, explaining to me that a PhD program is very difficult and probably took all his time and he meant well. From my position today, I wonder just how much of a terror I must have been to him as well.

I swore to myself that if that was what getting a PhD meant, then I would NEVER get one.

...

I was a missionary in Germany when I realized I loved to teach and that was what I wanted to do for a living. I asked myself who I would teach. I couldn't imagine grade school, teaching that 3+2=5 year in and year out. I didn't want to go back to junior high or high school. That meant I would be a college professor, and that meant I needed a PhD. (I hadn't yet worked out what I would teach, just where.)

That gave me more than a moment of pause. I worried and fretted. I did NOT want to become another Brother Suchandso. So I made a set of promises to myself, about what I would and would not do, and importantly how I would not speak about my field (whatever it was).

...

I started my PhD program, met Joy, and we started dating. One of our early dates was to a church activity in her ward. She sat me down with a group of men and then wandered off to visit with some sisters. I introduced myself and we had a nice time together.

When Joy returned, she asked if I had been regaling them with economics. They said, no. He did tell us he was studying economics, but then we had a pleasant conversation. That was when she said, "That's because he's my well-behaved economist."

To me, the most important word in that sentence was "MY". I smile still to think of it.

...

I told my children this story today after the thing that reminded me of all this. Joy rejoiced at the great benefit that Sunday School teacher was to our family. If I had spoken like many PhD students, or PhD-havers, she would not have been at all interested in me. We never would have dated, let alone got married.

How blessed I am to have had such a terrible experience at church for 10 months! It made me a better teacher, happier in my profession and at church, and brought me Joy. Who knew that's what God was cooking!