Stranger in a strange land: Food

I've actually had very few experiences where I felt like a stranger in a strange land. In Nigeria, everything seemed to scream out constantly that I wasn't in the US anymore. In Pretoria, though, it's not only clearly advanced/developed/first-world, but everyone speaks English to me. If it weren't for people driving on the left and the stores are a little different, I would forget I was in another country sometimes.

After ten days I have finally found our first glaring thing that will remind me multiple times a day that I'm not in the US:

There is no such thing as pure orange juice.

Every morning at breakfast the orange juice we ask for has tasted just a little off, and sometimes very much off, and sometimes downright nasty, and we couldn't figure out why. Being on the Naturally Slim program means that I don't drink water anymore (hardly). I mix my water with just a little OJ, making "H2Orange". It's delightful. It overpowers the taste of the local water wherever I am. It's delicious. Other program adherents call it the nectar of the gods. It's ... unworkable here.

We went to the store searching for orange juice, and we kind of found it. The label says in big, bright letters "100% orange juice", and then beneath it reads: "orange mixed with apple and grape juice" or "orange mixed with apple and other juices" (or "other fruit" as in this picture).

OTHER juices? What, pray tell, are these mysterious "other" juices? Yak urine? Chewing tobacco spit? There's something not quite right about that juice, this much I know.


In SAfr's defense, everything else has tasted very good. The pizza is different but enjoyable. The lamb at UP was glorious. The meat pies put Nigeria's to shame. They have Hob Nobs and real Nutella and bockwurst. Their butternut squash is amazingly good. The OJ? Not so much.

Sleeping in South Africa

The plan, we were told, was that the University of Pretoria was going to rent us a house for these two months. A house that not only had a separate bedroom for each child, but one with a side house for a live-in maid, not to mention a pool! We were astonished and pretty excited.

When we arrived, most horrifically jet-legged, I was informed that there were ... legal issues. Universities are not fast-moving creatures. In the meantime, would you mind if we dropped you at this charming little establishment called the Avalon Guest House? It's walking distance and - while your contract indicates that you are responsible for your own food - it comes with breakfast. We'll talk some more later about when we can get you into the house.

Hey, just point me in the direction of the bed, and I'm good. So we arrive and I have a pair of first reactions. First reaction #1 - This is elegant and beautiful!



First reaction #2 - This is never going to work. It's one big room for us and then this small room with three beds for the kids. We just did a week putting the kids to sleep in the same hotel room in DC to get here, and it was a disaster from start to finish. (Yes, there is a bathroom and a closet and a cupboard with a small fridge and microwave too). But it's simply not going to be possible to contain our three lively children in such a small space for two whole months. Not gonna work.

 Joy and I agreed that first night: if it were just the two of us, this would be an ideal bed and breakfast.

Then after the first weekend, the kids decided they really liked it. They really like sharing a room. There is a lovely patio they can play on. There are all these trees and flowers around, with bird song most hours of the day (and they are quiet at night until about 5am).

Tales of SUSPENSE

*John-Thomas cries*
And now it's time for another ... Tale ... of ... SUSPENSE! *crying ceases*


A man in a foreign country must pop popcorn in a microwave he has never used before!

Will the higher voltage change the cooking time?
What if he leaves it in the microwave too long and it burns?

The man stands at the microwave ... staring relentlessly ... patiently ... counting each pop ... never knowing ... if this pop ... will be the last ..............

This has been another ... Tale ... of ... SUSPENSE!
*John-Thomas resumes crying*

Thank you, son. Your timing is impeccable.

In Qatar

After a 15 hour flight, we have arrived in Qatar. No one slept more than 4-5 hours, but thanks to abundant tv, movies, and DS games, we and the passengers around us were relatively happy.

The Doha airport is nice. A friendly employee saw us shuffling forward and gave us a lift, entry to the first class screening area, and directions to the children's playground. While we had to pay $5 in Dallas for an unwieldy luggage cart we had to return, here in Qatar there are luggage carts and baby strollers by the dozens lined up for free use. When you are a family of five, they make a huge difference.

The first thing we saw past security were these larger-than-us animatronic dinosaurs. They said "Rawr!" They scared JT no end. They also had rather large plush animals, of which the gorilla was JT's favorite.

It's a busy, fully modern airport, and a good sight better looking than Heathrow. I'll reserve judgement until our NINE HOUR layover is over, but So far I'm glad we flew through Qatar Airways.

JT's phrases

John-Thomas discovered Cars 2. Oddly enough we don't have the original. I'm not entirely sure how that happened - we didn't buy either one and got two copies of Cars 2. Anyway, JT is a fan. Mater is his favorite toy at the moment.

So Joy asked me to confirm that our flight to South Africa would indeed have children's entertainment. I was able to not only confirm that it existed, but what the movies would be, and among them was Cars 1. Joy told JT.

Every half hour or so, he announces in his loudest possible little voice, "Cars on a PLANE! CARS! Plane!" He just can't wait.

Superstar and JT get along famously

We have him say his prayers in the morning and night. Initially he did a good job opening his prayer with "Dear ... Father ... Heaven." But he's confused these days. Every prayer begins "Dear Father Jesus." And he is determined that Father Jesus makes much more sense than Father Heaven. So, yeah, my son apparently believes in the Trinity.


At dinner tonight he proclaimed "Kiss my mouth!"


When Joy puts him to bed, they have a game. Joy asks "Who does Daddy love?" and sometimes he answers "Daddy loves you!" and sometimes he says "Daddy loves me!" Both, of course, are correct.


JT has also figured out how to say Superman and Spiderman. He just has trouble telling them apart....

A hypothetical conversation: Nephi and Mrs. Nephi

Father Lehi died and his older sons, Laman and Lemuel, are (again) ticked that their youngest brother, Nephi, has taken the leadership. They are (again) trying to kill him, and in 2nd Nephi 5:5, the Lord warns Nephi to flee. Again. So I'm envisioning the following imaginary conversation between Nephi and his wife that takes place in between verse 5 and verse 6 when they actually leave town.

N: I don't know why, but it just seems so much harder to leave this time. I mean, we've both done this before. I even enjoyed it! It was a great adventure. We fled from Jerusalem. We wandered in the desert for eight years living in tents. We've done this before. We got the t-shirt. ... So why am I having these nightmares night after night about this trip - about when the bow broke or when we were hungry or tied to the mast... We survived those and grew from it, but this time it just seems so much harder to leave, even though I know I will enjoy it there.

MN: I know, right? Last time, we saw the hand of the Lord clearly. We knew exactly that leaving Jerusalem was what God wanted us to do. I ate sweet, raw meat for eight years while pregnant...

N: Without complaining about it once. It wasn't until we got to the land of Bountiful that you really let me know how hard it was for you.

MN: And I know this time it ought to be easier. We're wandering in a jungle, not a desert so there should be plenty of food everywhere. Granted, we have more kids now than we did then, but the kids are older this time, so that ought to make things easier.

Who are these little people: "John-Thomas"

JT recently turned 2 and is figuring out how to talk. We have been very excited as he recently discovered 3-4 word sentences: "Daddy cut cheese" (literally), "We read about Jesus," "I want drink" and the like.

JT is the cutest, most adorable little person. His adoring smile greets us first thing each morning. He likes to "hug" and tonight when I hurt my wrist, he came right over, said "kiss," and fit word to deed. When he prays, he lists everyone in the house every time - and sometimes multiple times just because he enjoys saying our names. He sometimes lists our names when we're not praying, just to ask where everyone is. The flip-flop pitter patter of his feet running through the house is a delight. He's developed the most adorable little "pouty face" with a protruding bottom lip. I give his lip a beep, show him my protruding bottom lip, and sing "If you chance to meet a pout, do not let it staaaaay. Quickly turn it upside down and smile that pout away." He usually smiles broadly again right after.

Who are these little people? Princess

Princess is about to turn 5. She was the spotlight today in church. That meant she brought a bag filled with things that she loved for basically show and tell. (I helped.)

Princess loves the color pink. Her favorite toys are a pink dragon in a tutu ("Tutu") who protects her, a pink Pegasus ("Rainbow Pony"), a pink monkey, and her baby dolls ("Baby Jane", "Lavinia", and "Jane". PS Jane is a boy, but Baby Jane is a girl. They all wear pink.). She also likes to play with My Little Ponies, though they are not all pink.

Princess loves to watch TV shows. Her favorites rotate between Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Dora the Explorer, Super Why, Umizoomi, and Pinky Dinky Doo whenever Amazon brings it back. Blues Clues and Little Bear are making a comeback. She dresses up as a pirate and play at being Jake. She also plays hide and seek with passion.

She loves to be read to and every night when we tuck her in, she has her favorite pink plushes and at least 5 books to look through while she nods off. Her current favorite Sunday dress is pink with black lace Hello Kitties on it. She also likes flowery dresses. We think she is totally adorable in blue.

Who are these little people? Superstar

Superstar turned 8 and got baptized! As part of that, we got him a Kindle Fire to use to read his scriptures. He spent so many hours reading his scriptures every day we actually had to put a curfew on the device just so he could get some sleep! He read the Book of Mormon by himself. Today as he and I were having a discussion, he showed me his scriptures and I discovered that he was not only coloring the verses different colors based on themes, but had figured out how to footnote his scriptures and link them to different talks and articles so he can learn more about topics he doesn't understand well yet!



Superstar can do algebra in his head. I recently asked him to solve for x: x^2 - x = 0. He got both solutions in under 5 seconds flat (1 and 0).

Superstar still loves Mario, but which Mario is now much more variable. Most recently he and I have been playing Mario's baseball game, but we have also spent a fair amount of time on MarioParty 10, Mario 3D, Mario Maker, and the Mario chess set I got him for his birthday. He also plays Clue and Uno and loves it when he sees us playing Ticket to Ride or Dominion in the hopes he can join in.

When the wicked rule the people mourn

I've spent more time pondering the current Presidential elections than is probably healthy, reading most anything about the candidates that comes my way. I was disturbed a few weeks ago, that when my son asked me for positive reasons why I had voted in Texas' primary for Rubio, I had far less to say in his favor than I had to say about two candidates in particular who would never under any circumstances receive my vote. Shortly thereafter at Institute, a student reminded us that it is not enough to point out error, but to point towards light and truth. In recognition that my Facebook feed and thoughts dwelt far too much on the negative, I decided to back off on political posts for a while to try to recenter my thoughts.

Last week I found the answer I was looking for. It might not be everyone's answer, but it is mine: IT'S TIME FOR A SPREADSHEET! The methodology is simple: Who are the candidates and what does each stand for? Score them 0-10 (or higher or lower depending on the weight you want to put on one issue or another) and add up your totals. The highest number is the candidate you should support.

For my spreadsheet, I turn to Doctrine and Covenants 98:9-10: "When the wicked rule the people mourn. Wherefore, honest men [and women] and wise men [and women] should be sought for diligently, and good men [and women] and wise men [and women] ye should observe to uphold; otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil."

For my primary vote, I focused less on the wise part - did they agree with my stances on particular issues, or at the least could I see wisdom in their choices and arguments even if they come to different conclusions - and mostly on whether I thought this was a good human being. If they aren't, I don't care how much they agree with me on everything else, I won't support them. This is why I voted for Rubio in my primary election and why at this stage I will find anything nice to say about Sanders that I can even knowing on economic and foreign policies I'm likely to agree with his opponent more than him.

This post includes only my rankings on the honest and good parts. I measured it on nine dimensions: