Ode to a potato peeler

Returning from the States, I presented my Lovely and Gracious with a token of mine esteem. It was not on the shopping list she sent me.

It was ... a potato peeler.

She has spoken raptures about it since, and I thought it would appropriate to join her rejoicings with those of generations past:


I had forgotten how great a perfect potato peeler can be. We may actually have potatoes now. - Joy

It is a truth universally acknowledge that a potato peeler in posession of a good blade must be in want of a potato. - Jane Austen [Pride, Prejudice, and Potatoes, p. 1]

And men are instructed sufficiently that they know a good potato peeler from an evil one. - Lehi [2nd Nephi 2:5]

Not "virtues" but "Virtue" is his ideal, and Virtue is nothing other than the duty of the potato peeler. -- Schiller [On grace, dignity, and Potatoes]

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges his potato peeler has grown dull. - Mark Twain

Westley: I mean, if only we had a potato peeler! That would be something.
Inigo: Where did we put that potato peeler the albino had?
Fezzik: Over by the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
 -- Scene from The Potato Bride

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has a good potato peeler, women will like him. - Mae West

All the world's a potato peeler,
And all the men and women merely potatoes.
They have their eyes and their bruises,
And one man in his pot makes many meals.
               - Shakespeapre, As You Like Potatoes, Act II, scene vii, 139-142