Ruth and Boaz in Nigeria

On our way here, I read the book of Ruth and noticed something that made me smile. Boaz has promised to marry Ruth, assuming the unnamed nearer relation does not. So he needs to meet with the fellow, sound him out, contract the business, and get witnesses together for the transaction. They don't have cell phones, so how do they get together?

Then went Boaz up to the [city?] gate, and sat him down there: and, behold, the kinsman of whom Boaz spake came by; unto whom he said, "Ho, such a one, sit down here." And he turned aside and sat down.

And he took ten men of the elders of the city, and said, "Sit ye down here." And they sat down.

How do they get together? He sits in a public place and waits. How long? Who knows; who cares. Ah, there he is, good old Mr. Suchaone. He doesn't tell him the business at hand, just asks him to sit. Then they wait until they get a minyan together, asking each one in turn to join them until they can get down to business.

It sounded so much like Nigeria it made me smile! Even though most of the poorest have a cell phone now, there is a still lot of sitting around and waiting. We do a great deal of it ourselves for reasons that are never entirely clear to us. There are even people hired to stand in line for others. And most everything happens at the last minute. Even such modern industries as airlines assume you are buying tickets for the same day, not planning for a week in advance. Some of the AUN faculty left for the summer without knowing if their contract was renewed for this year or not, and I only just learned about changes to my teaching schedule this week.

So the moral of the story is that in Nigeria you need to have a very flexible idea of your schedule, because you never know when your near kinsman is going to ask if you want to buy some land and marry the widow that goes with it.

Food Surprise

I have been surprised to learn that I like eggs and potatoes better in Nigeria.

Another surprise to me was that when I baked a cake for Derrill I didn’t need to cook it twice as long and it cooked perfectly (wow, what happened while I was gone?). Before we left I was having to cook things twice as long and they were not raising right. I am also glad to find that our gas problem to our stove must be fixed or we would  not have had any to cook with when we got back. I am surprised not to find any bugs in my flour that I left behind.

And the best thing of all. Last night we got out our Magic Bullet for the first time to make banana ice cream for Derrill’s birthday and Derrill read in the instructions that the bullet will grind meat. What joyous words to the soul. We ground beef last year in a hand grinder, but it hurt my wrist so bad, that I have decided I will not use it again. So Derrill took over the task, but it still takes so long and  is such a mess with the blood all over. I have just been wishing that we had gotten an electric meat grinder and been thinking about it for the past 2 or 3 days. So when Derrill read that, I was ecstatic! The beef is so much nicer ground up and it is cheaper than the chicken.
Joy

Blessing of Health by Airplane

Hi Everyone,
We are back in Nigeria. I had a wonderful time visiting my husband's family. Thank you, mom, Pop, Steve, Emilee and little girl for the great time! We will miss you and we are sorry we missed my family too.

I was having a very hard time with my allergies the last 2 weeks or so before we left the United States. I even received an answer to pray about how to best take care of myself when my allergies are acting up. Prince has been very concerned about anyone in our family that is sick. He is very good  at following up to find out how we are doing later. When we got to Nigeria, Prince asked me if I was feeling better. I was not feeling good again, in fact I was feeling worse (my eyes were all swollen and I couldn’t breath through my nose at all).

Prince asking me helped me see a blessing. I realized that most of our trip out here I was feeling better and that it had not hit me full force again until after all of the travel was over and we were home so that I could take care of myself again. My answer to Prince was that I was not feeling very good, but I had a blessing from Heavenly Father that helped me to feel good for our plane trips. I'm blessed not only for that but also for the opportunity to share my experience with my son of the spirit working in my life. I also remembered that I was granted the strength for our journey from my father’s blessing and I am grateful for all the evidences to me that God watches over us even in this land so far away from our family.

We are well and love you all,
Joy

Coming Home to Nigeria

What makes us feel like we're coming home?
When we went down for breakfast at the hotel in Abuja on our way to Yola, we found our former-neighbors there, who are some of our best friends here. Several other friends flew in with us on the same plane. A student recognized me and greeted me happily. Our compound's guards laughed and rejoiced to see us return. Friendly faces make for nice homecomings.

Prince excitedly cried, "I'm going to go see my room!" He crowed, "Look at all these great toys!" Then he grabbed up ... "Yoshi! Oh Yoshi, I missed you so much!" He spent the next minute talking to a plush ridable dragon.

Princess, who was not allowed on the floor until the cockroaches were swept up, explored the house for the first time on her own two feet and also found her room and the wonderful toys therein.

What was Joy delighted to see? "I can find my can opener! That means I'm home."

My delight, of course, was finding my work computer and being able to sit down at my own computer for the first time in three months (story in a coming post). The other electronics are still at an office on campus, so it's just a question of how long I can be kept from heading over there before I have the rest of them again.

What makes us feel like we're coming home ... to Nigeria?
Having the electricity shut off at the hotel and seeing all the faculty/staff present say, "Welcome back to Nigeria!" as they take a deep breath of air -- some of them like they're getting ready to dive in, others as if they were smelling mother's cooking.


Joy rejoiced at how clean our home was. I reminded her about the cockroaches on the floor. "Well, yes, but it's really very clean ... aside from the cockroaches." I swept up a full cup of them plus two grasshoppers.

I realized at some point that my inspection of the house when I came in was to see 1) how many lights broke while we were gone; 2) what else needs fixing; and 3) if was anything stolen. I never acted that way in Ithaca.

Coming home to Nigeria also means reshifting expectations:

Trying to be a good daddy

Princess asked for a sip of my root beer. She is willing to eat or drink just about anything, so I gave her a sip. Conquered by carbonation, she would have staggered backward if she hadn't been locked in her high chair. Want some more?  "Done." Yeah, I'm a good daddy.
The next day she asked for a sip of my Coke.* Figuring this should be over as quick as her last experiment, I gave her a sip. Staggered again, I figured my work was 'done.' Not only did she ask for more with both hands out-stretched, she has taken to raiding the case of cola, pulling out a can, and bringing it to the nearest adult asking "Ookook?" Still a good daddy? Local mothers stare pointedly with raised eyebrows.

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Joy and Prince spent most of the week together at a mother/son training camp. On the first day, one of the first things the camp director said to Prince in order to elicit conversation was, "I'm having something SUPER YUMMY for lunch today...."

Prince asked excitedly, "Is it pancakes?!"

Daddy paid attention. My Mickey pancakes at home must have been a success!

I told him on the way home that there was a restaurant where Pop used to take me for breakfast that specializes in ... pancakes. He had so far managed a personal best 3 days in a row without an accident. I suggested that, if he made it to 4 days in a row, we could go to IHOP**.

He was ecstatic. He started praying to be able to make it 4 days in a row.

Saturday we went to IHOP. Huzzah!

As soon as we were done, he asked what prize he would get for 5 days in a row. Uhoh.

(Only disclaimers below the fold.)

The part of "no" she doesn't understand

Since coming to the States, our little Princess Peanut has really learned some new words, with more coming almost daily. Her favorite was and still is "Dad-DEE!" She chants it as she wanders the house looking for me. Joy adds, "And sometimes starts to scream it, especially if you don't give her your attention. She'll be looking the other direction and start yelling dadDEE! dadDEE!"  Her second favorite is "Down." Down serves both for when it's time to get down off my shoulders and when she wants to get down out of her chair or car seat. Two days ago she added "Go" to her list of commands, usually accompanying a pointing finger to show me where she wishes to be carried.

She asks for specific foods when it's time to "eee" (eat), like "cracker" which sometimes sounds like "cookie". "Grr" is for grapes and "egg" needs no translation. The hardest one to crack was her word for a drink, which is "ook" (rhymes with took, book, crook, look, etc.) It took a lot of pondering before we realized the reason she calls it "ook" is because of the sound she makes when she drinks: ookookookook. A much more faithful bit of onomatopoeia than "glug glug".  Joy adds, "I think it's because of me. You know how I drink water when I'm really downing it, which I usually do before I nurse her. I think it's my fault."

There is one word, however, that most children pick up very quickly but has given her nothing but confusion:



No!

Before she started walking, we had very few occasions to use this magic word on her. Just before coming here, though, we started a brief campaign to teach our children to not pick their noses. We practiced with her, putting her/my finger up her/my nose and saying "No!" then putting the finger next to her nose and saying "yes."



Well, that messed her up. Now almost whenever we tell her No, she puts her finger aside or inside her nose. It's very cute and it does have the bonus of stopping her little hands from whatever else they were doing. Someday I do hope she learns the proper usage, as we urgently need her to figure out that all computers and their cords are off-limits. 


So I know the answer to the question, "What part of No do you not understand?"

New Stake in Abuja

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints created its first stake in northern Nigeria on June 24. The progression from having a district in Abuja to having a stake is a wonderful milestone. It is a recognition of the growth and stability of the faith of the members in and around Abuja. It shifts the burden of area leadership from the mission president to local priesthood leaders and means that the full church program is now available to members there.

The new stake president is Edima Okon Oku-Ukpong, who teaches at the University of Abuja. He is assisted by two counsellors, Akindele Samuel Kayode, a businessman, and Victor Chikezie Eze, a hotel night manager.

When we visited one of the Abuja congregations on our way into Yola, they were very welcoming and spoke with great hope of the day they would become a stake. My personal hope is that it will also enable the Church to investigate sending missionaries to our area as well.

The official announcement - An unofficial source, with a bit more description.

Learning about myself

I dislike flying. I never knew that about myself until this last flight to Goleta. I'm not afraid of flying. I'm not worried that we will crash. I just dislike the experience and I like it less and less.

I always wanted to be the kind of person who enjoys flying. Once upon a time, I had a very mild sense of superiority at the ability to enjoy a flight. No longer. The pieces fit together too well and I must admit to my mild shame that I am coming to hate flying.

While waiting in a standing-room only holding area in Lagos while every passenger on a very full flight to Houston was being frisked again before we could board the plane, it all fell into place:

• The way I can't sleep the night before
• The way my "stomach" is angry from the time I reach my first gate until I get off the last plane
• The way every layover with kids in tow sends me over the top in stress
• The way very few things in Nigeria could upset my equilibrium, but just the thought of trying to make it through US customs and security to catch a 1 hour layover triggered my fight-or-flight mechanisms WEEKS in advance
• My growing sense that TSA is all things evil and sadistic

On the meaning of fidelity and sacrifice

This is the true story of a woman whose husband (of six weeks) was lost during WWII. She received multiple, contradictory statements about his fate from the military. Not knowing whether he lived or died, she decided they were still married and she would remain faithful to him. Now they do know what happened.

Wanderer in a Strange Land

You actually can go home again. There are just start up costs.

I expect to feel like I'm in a foreign country in Nigeria. I don't expect that in the US.

As we prepared to leave Nigeria and return to the US for the summer, we made careful plans. Among other things, we decided to leave as much as possible in Yola and buy anything we needed here, bringing only those clothes and so forth we would not be bringing back to Yola. That would preserve space for what we want to bring back with us. But that meant when we first arrived, we shampooed with the complementary hotel bottles, had no razors, etc. etc. etc. Few things say "Not At Home" quite like not having the specific things you use daily. [Fixed within 24 hours]

When we got to the US, we had no car insurance. So even though my parents were willing to let us borrow their car, we weren't legally allowed to. We hiked the mile to the store and back, lugging our medications, toiletries, and a few other things with us. Few things say "Not At Home" quite like not being able to get around. [Fixed within 72 hours]

When we got to the US, we had no phone. I expected this would be a major problem when we first arrived because I was certain there was no way on the Face on the EARTH we would get through customs and security with 2 red-eyed children, 2 red-eyed adults, and make it to our connecting flight with only a one hour layover. How would we let Mom know the new time to pick us up once our flights were rescheduled? Well, we found a way and it turned out by some minor miracle that we made our flight anyway. But few things say "Not At Home" quite like not having a phone, anyone's phone numbers, or ability to get hold of anyone. [Fixed within a week]

We're staying in Goleta right now, which is my home town. I know where everything is. Joy doesn't. Few things say "Not At Home" quite like needing to ask someone where literally everything is. How do I find food? Where can I take the children to play? When is church?

"You assume when you come back to the US, you assume you have a sense of independence again ... and it takes a while to set that up," Joy adds.

On the other hand, few things say "Welcome Home" quite like having all your favorite, beloved, only-in-the-US foods ready and waiting for you (Thanks, Pop!); knowing that everyone not only speaks the same language as their primary language, but speaks it the same way you do; the many hugs and smiles from friends and family; sleeping in the same room you had 20 years ago with your son sleeping where you did 30 years ago; (in my case) knowing where everything is; and finally rebuilding that ability to live and function independently. We got library cards within the first 2-3 days also and checked out nearly 50 books, mostly for the kids.

It's wonderful to be Back Home.